Definitions - Just For Laughs

Just For Laughs!!!!
School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer
to the notes of the students
without passing through 'the minds of either'.

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest.....
except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead.